I am the mom. I want my son's hair cut short like a boy. His dad wants it grown long like a girl. My son is now 4 1/12 and it goes down to the middle of his back. I hate it!!!! His dad says he would kill me if I cut it. What do I do and what are my rights as his mom? By the way, we are NOT married. We are hardly a couple any more but we do still live together but in separate bedrooms. And yes, my son is CONSTANTLY confused as a girl! I absolutely hate his hair. I never say anything negative to my son or in front of him about his hair by the way. I would never do that. My son does complain about his hair though and always tells me to put it up for him. I know he doesn't like it.What to do when two parents disagree over cutting male child's hair? Let it grow long like a girl or cut short
Souds like you picked a great ';prize'; to hook up with, without the benefit/protection of marriage first.... now you and your son are paying the price.What to do when two parents disagree over cutting male child's hair? Let it grow long like a girl or cut short
I Agree With Miranda. Put Some gum in his Hair! But, DON';T Let your son know about it. Other wise he might tell his dad that YOU Put it in there. If He is anything like my husband he's not going to compromise no matter what argument you come up with. Unless he Absolutely HAS to! This May be the only way. It sounds like a good idea to me. I would try it anyway.
BTW Douglas. You Said That you know about kids because you are one. Then Why do you think that you should be Giving An ADULT Advice on getting married? Everyone knows that you don't make a bad situation WORSE by getting married!
Okay, lets have a reality check here. Kids don't get to make a lot of decisions in their life. This is primarily because they genuinely aren't up to the level of responsibility required to make informed decisions one way or the other. This, however, is a question of physical appearance related to his hair. He should be entitled to express his opinion and have it heard, and unless there is a darn good reason to go against what he wishes for this particular situation, he should get what he wants. Its his hair, after all.
That doesn't solve your problem with his dad, though. You and his dad need to sit down and have a long conversation about this. Ultimately, I hope you will prevail with his dad by citing your son's dislike of the current hair style.
One other thing to keep in mind is that some children are prone to being abused by their parents, and psychological abuse fits very well within this context. I know a guy who dreamed of growing his hair out long ever since he was a very young boy, and his mother insisted that he keep it short at all costs. He is now in his 50s and hasn't spoken to or heard from his mother in years and has no desire to do so. For him, expressing himself through his physical appearance was critical to his self-development, and it was equally critical for his mother to squelch it to ';keep him in his place';. Your son has stated very plainly that he doesn't want long hair. He should get his wish. Nobody should force him into a style which makes him want to crawl out of his skin.
There are some things that, as the father, his dad will have a good reason to want to have a say in. There is no good reason for his dad to override his desires for shorter hair.
And Douglas: Long hair is not creepy. For some, it is truly a way of self-expression. Look up ';longhairs'; on your favorite search engine, and you'll find lots of guys with long hair. Vive la difference!
Let the boy speak and decide for himself.
if it's at least 10in in a pony tail I say donate it to locks of love. If you are worried about his father than I say put gum in it (w/o your son knowing) get it in there real good and let his dad discover it after daycare/school.
good luck
p.s. you have every right to cut it, just as his father has every right to keep it...it's a tie game (so to speak).
if you are seriously that scared of him then why on earth are you still in the same house. I am not against boys with long hair but if your son does not like it then it needs to be cut. It is his hair and he should have a say over it. Move out and get a place for the two of you and cut his hair
If he looks like a girl, people will assume that he's gay. Most fathers HATE to hear their son being called gay and will do anything to put a stop to it, so use that as an argument point. Also, ask your son what he wants. Kids hate to not get a say in their appearance, as I know because I am one.
A good length for most boys is in between shaved off and down to their neck. Anything past that is just plain weird. I personally avoid other boys who have long hair like that because they look disturbing.
If your boyfriend has long hair also, you should persuade him to get a haircut too. Point out that usually only hoboes have long hair. Comment constantly that you wish he'd look cleaner.
Finally, it doesn't relate to your question, but you need to get married to your husband. I have a friend with unmarried parents, and it devastates and mortifies him. Besides that, it's the right thing to do and it makes logical sense. Being unmarried, your boyfriend can dump you at any time and leave you out on the street. Marriage also gives extra security to the relationship and it has other legal benefits. If that isn't persuasive enough, take into account the future happiness of your son...
You have a bigger problem on your hands than your son's hair. You need to deal with this controlling, threatening man that you are allowing to cause you fear.
Where do I begin? I'm with my son all day, 5 days a week and have yet heard him ask me to cut his hair. I haven't heard him complain about his hair being in his face or that it's too long. The only person I hear complaining is his mother. When he was born, I told her I wanted to let his hair grow. That was 4 1/2 years ago. He doesn't have wild hair, it's not hard to control, and I do his hair everyday when he's with me. She may hate it, but when he's old enough to say he wants his hair cut, then we'll cut his hair. As far as her fearing what I would do if she were to cut his hair without telling me, that's her taking something said out of context. Yes, there would be hell to pay, but it is just hair. Hair will always grow back. Keep that in mind :)
It should be up to the child if he's 4 years old! What's wrong with the dad, anyway?
Talk to the boy about his hair, and if he wants it cut, tell him he will need to convince his father to allow it. If he's not able to change his mind, then get it cut anyway.
Maybe you could compromise by keeping one long piece in the back that you can braid.
well if he doesnt like it tell his dad about it and talk it through
Can you compromise - keep his hair longish but maybe more shoulder or even chin-length?
Boys with long hair look ridiculous, so it would definitely be cut short. I wouldn't even grow it that long to begin with, though.
The dad cannot threaten you. Is he abusive? Is he violent? If he is, then call the police and end the relationship. For him to say he'll kill you over a hair cut is just irrational.
Tell the father that it's for the good of the boy and cut his hair!!!
